On bones...

Your hip is competing with my sternum for pokey.

~Adie~

On Exlax...

Katie: I'm in a creative bind!
Adie: There's medicine for that.

On Agerianne...

Megan: Child
Katie: He's older than you.
Megan: Uhuh, I is 80.
Katie: No, she's Adie...

On blushing...

I was not ogling...

~Adie~

On confessions...

Nick: You have a secret family? With secret children?

Katie: Don't judge me! I was young, I was stupid, I was fertile...

On comfort food...

Katie: You know there are carrots and celery in the freezer; you could make turkey and noodle soup.

Megan: Who puts vegetables in a noodle soup?

Katie: Everybody but you.

Megan: EXACTLY!

On knee slappers...

Megan: You cut your hair!
Anthony: Yeah
Megan: Do you like it?
Anthony: It's starting to grow on me...*slaps knee*

On professors's minds...

Chocolocate covered bacon? It's meat candy!

~Dr. Morris~

On our crazy ranch...

Cirque de Ranch?

~RJ~

On relationships...

Ziz: Claire and I call you Pregnant Megan, because you glow so much.
Megan: I keep telling everyone that I hasn't had the sex, but no one believes me.
Claire: Preggers!

On impressions...

His shirt was pressed, my mom was impressed.

~Claire~

On the traits of a good girlfriend...

Claire: I'll text him that I'd make a good girlfriend because I have boobies. Then put jk.
Megan: You don't have boobies? I knew you were a man!
Claire: My name is Clarence.

On a way of life...

I would be a slut if I could be...

~Megan~

On 'hasn't hading the sex'...

Claire: You'll be a virgin for life, but on the plus side you'll be made into statues and candles.

Megan: I don't think it's worth it. I wants the sex! Eventually. Just sayin'.

On Woodstock Thanksgiving...

Katie: It's free love, and sexual encounters...
Jeremy: Of the third kind?

On statements in context...

Claire: I get it now
Mike: So that's how that works...

On nationality...

Claire is the gingerist here!

~Mike~

On alternative careers...

Who's the hooker?

~Katie~

On I don't even know...

I like my women jaundice...Need liver? Oh yeah!


~Mike~

On gulping...

I swallowed water...in the wrong way.

~Jeremy~

On facial appearances...

Katie: They're...vortexes of doom!
Jeremy: Beware my dimples!

On photographs...

Mike! Be Cherubic!
Jeremy! Look Creepy!

~Katie~

On toasting...

I'll just be over here in the corner, stroking my glass. Will you touch my glass?

~Jeremy~

On Pie...

It doesn't sound as good as when I'm talking with my mouthful.

~Katie~

On the birth of a first born child...

You're going to have your first child and hold it and caress it and say, "This is the fourth happiest day of my life, second only to basketball."

~Katie about Megan~

On history....

We've seen it before...

~Adie~

On Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuudge...

I saw nummies and I was down with that.

~Megan~

On reading the end of the book first...

I KNOW!!! I read the synopsis!

~Megan~

On chosing a suitable mate...

Well, if I can pick, then I want that one.

~Megan~

On the conversation during a basketball game...

*Katie and Megan are both sitting in the scoop-a-doop chair.*
Katie: Are you uncomfortable?
Megan: No are you?
Katie: No.
Ryan: I am.

On roommate taboos...

Megan: I will see YOU in the bedroom.

Katie: Let's never utter those words ever again please. .

On vegetarian vampires...

They don't have tofu blood.

~Claire~

On Soda Fountains...

Don't trash the sassafras brew.

~Nate~

On International Politics...

Look Claire, you could have had Russia!

~Megan~

On World Domination...

We talked about taking over Russia. We decided that Megan would be the one talking to those in society, trying to save their souls. Tom and Nate would go to the leaders and be like 'Let's sit down here and talk about it.' And Mike and I would just shoot them all.

~Chase~

On association...

You mean I have a droopy face!?

~Megan~

On humor...

Blastfemur

~Megan's distorted sense of humor~

On Eloquence...

Megan: Did you say Bite Me?
Katie: Yes
Megan: Oh, because I heard white meat, and I was like "chicken?"