On the importance of religion in a relationship...

Michelle: Katie can't have my monk.
Megan: He's bald and loves Jesus, she'll teach him to dance and steal him away.
Michelle: But I wouldn't steal your guys' monks.
Megan: So I get more than one?
Emily: You just need to go to a monastery and convince one of them to go away with you.
Michelle: Yeah, Jesus loves families.
Megan: You need to go up to a monk and say, 'You can still love Jesus and have me,' or 'I think Jesus wants us to procreate.'

On Patrick, or, putting a bullet in a man

I hit that (wink)
~Claire~

On puns...

I love cupcakes...they'll never dessert you.

~Megan~

On revenge...

You should beat up his non-existent butt.

~Megan~

On food fights...

Take that Panini!

~Megan~

On whippersnappers...

Dad: What is this world coming too?
Megan: Communism!

On family members...

Megan: Whore!

Katie: Oh Megan, you always know just what to say!

On facebook photos...

Molly: Well he's feeling the Spirit.
Megan: Uh, he's an atheist.
*both laugh*

On Twilight...

We will only have consensual blacked out sex.

~Adie~

On Skills Learned in the Kitchen...

I learn best when I watch...

~Megan~

On Fantasia...

Katie: Why would they put Clair de Lune in the demon scene?
Maddie: One of these things is not like the other...

On Centari...

In Fantasia each of the Centari have their own personalities...
Yellow is the slut
Pink is the stripper
Blue is the ballet dancer
Orange is the tease
Green is the flirt
Red is the domestic
Brown is the independent
Periwinkle is the sweet innocent naïve church girl
Fuscia is the golddigger
Zebras are the exotic dancers.
And we decided that Mike is the Peeping Cherub with blushing butt cheeks...at least that was the conclusion that Katie and Adie came to.

On epic moments...

Adie: We figured out that red is the global "don't do that sign."
Katie: Duh, communism.

On sledding...

I feel like my butt's not even there! I wonder if this is what Patrick feels like all the time.

~Megan~

On Fantasia...

Megan *as a Valley Girlesque dinosaur*: Well if I'm going to die then I'm going to the beauty parlor and buying that dress at the Macy's.
Adie: Dinosaurs totally had Macy's

On the gray area of nothingness...

It shows up in grades as an A.

~Adie and Megan~

On remakes...

Miracle on Elm Street.

On batteries...

Adie: I'm going to kill you for leaving the car lights on.
Megan: Don't yell at me, I do this to my own car, and besides you are supposed to remind me to turn them off anyway.
Adie: So now this is my fault?
....
Adie: We are an old married couple.
Megan: Oh I can do this all day.

On dressing rooms...

My intonation is hilarious.

~Adie~

On gaining approval...

Who said it was alright for my peers to start pro-creating?

~Phil~

On mentholated lip balm...

Sassy Straight Friend

On dancing in the living room...

So Phil, tell me about your inavertant lap dance...

~Phil~

On women...

Everything Italian is better, especially the women.

~Katie~

On meat...

The refrigerator is not a magic box!!!

~Logan~

On degradation...

Megan: He's cheating on me?? With THAT?!
Adie: He doesn't even merit a proper pronoun!

On appropriate settings...

Phil: Rape him!

Katie: Can you say that in a Zen center?

On intelligence...

The girls at Rose Hulman don't know about boobs. They are like, "I wonder when they'll come in? Oh well, I guess I'll go back to studying math."

~Katie~

On Dental Issues

"OMG! The homo has teeth!"

On Family Values

"He's like my brother! ... one who rides me."

On Clarence...

He's throwing a fit, and he's throwing a fit, and he's throwing a hissy fit...oh no, are they all on their periods? All the men in my harem are menstruating.

~Claire~

On stepping into class...

Claire: When did we become old women?
Megan: I think it was Ooi's class.
Claire: We aged the moment we stepped in there. Like Moses going up on the Mountain.
Megan: We came back down old.
Claire: We came back down with commandments to hate democracy...and there was epic music.

On being a bro...

It's what we do. We're supposed to pick on other men's butts. It's how we bond.

~Ben~

On soundtracks to life...

You know, everything I do is more epic with the 1812 overture playing in my head.

~Anthony~

On mixed drinks...

Katie: It's pink lemonade mix and Hawaiin Punch.

Megan: Whatever made you think of such a mix?

Katie: Well, I've been thinking about it all weekend, but you weren't here, so I knew that if I made it and didn't like it, I would just have to pour it down the sink instead of give it to you to finish.

On holiday mishaps...

Megan: Katie, put on some Christmas music!

*Katie goes to put on a record*

(five minutes later)

Katie: Wait! Ros is Jewish!

Ros: Yeah, I was wondering how long that was going to take you...

On fixing computers...

Abe: I usually get paid for this.
Claire: You're doing it pro-bono.
Katie: Which means at some point sex will be expected as payment. See, Pro-Bono!!!

On butts to body ratio...

Buttratio

~Katie~

On pick up lines...

Megan: why is the window open?
Claire: because I'm hot.
Megan: well that's obvious.
Abe: what, you stole my line!
Megan: okay, let's try that again...why is the window open?
Claire: because I'm hot.
Abe: obviously!

On gravy...

And you know what gravy is a euphemism for? Sex.

~Katie~

On mixing Genres...

You know, the one with Anne of Green Acres...

~Megan~