On misspoken words...

I thought you said "disabled to death," and I was like, that's pretty disabled...

~Adie~

On the final paper...

You should type "This is the eight page paper that broke Megan's Mind."

I know Elise, but it's all I could get out of her, she went around singing Winnie the Pooh and typing gibberish. I know it's only a paragraph, but please take it!

~Adie~

On talking sexy...

Talk psychology to me.

~Megan~

On prawns...

Megan: I'm hurt...

Adie: Why?

Megan: I don't have big enough boobs for you.

On the finals week brain melt...

Megan: oh dear, I don't think I should write this paper tonight, I'm going to be like... "And they said she shouldn't work out in the field because she was a woman, well, do you know what I think of that?!?!"

Adie: I'm going to cut down the crops with my vajayjay.

On snack foods...

Katie: That's why a boy takes his ding dong and puts it in a girl's hoo-ho.

Emily: Do they make a baby that sounds like a snack cake?

On studying for finals...

Megan: I think it's de...de...de...de...da?

Adie: It's dependency.

Megan: I was totally right!

Adie: I'm going to remember that one now.

On birthing things...

And by Grilled Cheese I mean Uterus.

~Megan~

On Twue Luve...

Abe: Do you want dick in your mouth?

Adie: If the Dick is important to me. 

Megan: Awww, that's true love!

On bioengineering...

Megan: Oh, weren't you going to make tree gophers?

Daddy: Aren't those called squirels?

Orion: Someone beat me to the copyright.

Megan: Um...God?

On living with psychologists...

Adie: Jels have feelings!

Emily: I need to analyze this Jel!

On being blessed by the president...

Bless you my appropriation.

~Megan~

On happenings in the Kitchen...

Adie: The freezer smells bad.
Megan: You smell bad.
Adie: You smell BAD!
Emily: It smells like freezer.

On Suckerpunch...

Megan: It has a sex scene, but it's not really a sex scene.
Orion: What do they do? Hug?

On Tongue Twisters...

hot girls shoot shit.

On goodies...

Claire: My Irish-Catholic guilt has sunk in because I gave my cookies to another man.

On preconceptions...

Adie: And thus; life with a jock.

Isa: Don't stereotype me!

On babies...

Adie: Maybe because it's spring.

Elizabeth: It's fall.

Adie: Well, there goes that...

On demolishing..

Orion: No, don't smash her.

Adie: Don't worry, Ill leave all the necessary holes.

Megan: What? I'm just necessary holes.

On snaps...

Megan:  Did you break your vagina?

Katie: Can you break a vagina?

Adie: You can break a penis.

Megan: Yes you can!

On tongues...

Adie: Why do they call it a blow job when you mostly suck?

Megan: I guess 'suck job' just doesn't sound as good.

On goodtimes...

Adie: why do you always hold me like that? are you scared that I'm going to have sex with you in like the three seconds you're holding me?

Abe: yes

Adie: well, I am that good.

On flames...

Megan: lets all blow at the same time.

...

Abe: that's what she said...sorry. I was in the middle of a blow.

On euphamisms...

If you want to go down on Megan, wouldn't you be going up?

~Katie~

On Benenese...

Katie: Hey beardface, what's up?

Ben: Nothing...Just got a beard...on my face.

On that's what she said jokes...

Adie: I will be diligent in my studies.

Megan: Cause it's about Sex.

On stories...

He was a lesbian until the age of 6 when he learned he was a little boy.

~Megan~

On Spoonerisms...

Megan: nipple cinja

On Magic...

*Adie's sitting on a stool in a dress that's much too long*
Katie: How'd you get so tall?!?
....oh wait, it's an illusion...

On early morning metaphors...

Megan: Souls are like t-shirts.

Adie: No, that doesn't work, it's more like a soul goodwill.  I'm tired of my soul so I'm going to donate it to charity.

On tipsy compositions...

La, la, la, do, re, mi, SONG!

~Adie~

On sheeps...

Adie: Ha, Eddie Izzard

Megan: Ha, Robin Williams...what? I thought we were laughing and shouting out comedian names?

On actuality...

Do you know how many five year old soulmates I have?

~Megan~

On questions...

Did you point at her vagina?

~Megan~

On understanding inflection...

Scream: MEGAN!!!

Megan: Excuse me, I must go kill something.

On Average...

turgid penises, orgasmic cookies, vanilla sex lives, sexy librarians, flirting permission slips and gynecology visits

On Good Parenting...

Adie: I thought I was mom.
Megan: No, I'm mom!
Adie: No, I'm mom!
Megan: No I'm mom!
Emily: You can both be mom.
Megan and Adie: Emily's mom!

On Making Things Up...

Who would want a butt puppy!?

-Megan-

On Layaway...

Adie: This shirt feels like vajayjay.
Megan: You would know.
Adie: I would, actually.
Megan: How would you know? ...Oh, right.
Adie: Yeah, I have one of my very own. After a year on layaway.
Megan: Still waiting for the breasts then, are you?

On being creatively inspired...

Abe: How much beef could a beefcake cake, if a beefcake could cake...........beef?

On more dinner converstation...

Water, water, water. Agua!

~Lisa~

On dinner conversation...

Twitterpated is real!!!

~Anna~

On funny faces...

*Megan makes a peculiar grimace as she fiddles with some elastic on a sewing project*

Katie: Nice face, Megan.

Megan: Well, I had to get it in there!

Katie: That's what she said...

Megan: That's what I was opening it up for

*pause*

Megan: That's also what she said.

On Misconceptions...

Katie: Have you heard about Poetry Brothels?
Ros: Do you have sex and then read poetry?
Logan: Don't be so lewd Ros, you read the poetry first and then have sex.

On seeing David Tennant in England...

"I'll be like, 'Guys, I brought back a souvenir....it's in my uterus.'"

-Katie

On beastiality...

Katie: I like doing things with my hands *trails off and gives the "chickens" look*
Megan whispers to Adie: She likes doing chickens with her hands.
Adie: In the Bible that's a no-no.

On watching Tangled...

Adie: So it's called the Snuggly Duckling...ironically!
Adie and Megan together: Hipsters!
Megan: Ruffian Hipsters!

On seeing couples...

Adie: Are they a them, or are they a they?
Megan: They're a them.

On misspoken words...

Adie: Theses?
Logan: Feces?
Emily: Not feces...theses...

On lunch conversations...

Logan: I have an apple, his name is Fred.
Megan: AHHHH he just ate Fred's face, no the butt!
Logan: No, the back of his head...apples don't have butts.

On virgins...

Adie: I've gotten further than Orion has.
Megan: How do you know?
Adie: You walk around with a neon sign: "Orion hasn't done me yet."

On rolling on the floor...

Don't lick it, don't lick it, DON'T LICK IT!!!

~Megan~

On mouths...

You sound like someones butt.

~Adie~

On Halfway-to-Halloween Costumes...

"I look like the Moon if the Moon was a hooker..."

-Katie

On couples...

Ros: But I don't want babies.
Katie: But what if I want babies?
Ros: Then we can have little furry ones.
Katie: But I'm pregnant and I'm going to have a little baby boy, with a mustache, named Javier.

On cool sayin's...

It ain't no big thing.

~Emily~

On love...

Katie: How could anyone love him?
Scooter: I'm sure someone loves him.
Katie: Actually, so and so does.
Scooter: Are they dating?
Katie: Yeah.
Megan: Well that works out well.

On thinking...

Katie: Think like Pooh Bear. *Points to head*
Megan: Think *ouch* it hurts to think with long finger nails.

On editing...

Don't change your verb tense I WILL KILL YOU!

~Emily~

On skyping...

Megan: You blow your nose like a man.

Claire: What? I didn't know there was a manly way to blow my nose?

Megan: Yeah, there's the manly way *snorts* and then there's the dainty way *dabs at nose*

On conversations across the sea...

Claire: I talked to a recruiter about going into the Navy.

Megan: What?!?!?

Claire: Yeah, and I don't think I can do it, so I'm going to grad school.

Megan: So...

Claire: Yeah it was either Navy or Grad School, so I decided to go to Grad School.
Megan: Yeah, good choice.

On jokes...

Megan to Katie: I guess you just put a piece of yourself into it.

*fifteen minutes later*

Katie: Oh, that was an Oscar Wilde quote.

On different conseptions of dates...

Katie: Wow, today is 4/20, nobody said anything.

Megan: Yeah, so?

Katie: Well, I have a lot of stoner friends.

Megan: Oh, I was just thinking it's Hitler's birthday.

On zombies...

Easter is all about the undead...religious zing.

~Adie~

On road prowess...

Megan: *le sigh* Why don't I have a truck?
Katie: Cause the world wouldn't be able to handle your awesome if you did.

On word choice...

Let's see how many times we can say the word vagina in a night...vagina, vagina, vagina.

~Katie~

On that's what she said jokes...

Katie: Megan got it in!
Megan: Yeah I did.
Emily: Ha. Ha. Ha.

On shark week...

Megan: So Katie, your vagina...
Katie: What?! That's a great conversation starter.
Megan: Wait, I meant uterus.

On Mulan...

They got the horses right! 1 point for Disney. 10,000 for racism!!!

~Megan~

On sex across the sea...

So they said what's a condom...except in Chinese!

~Maddie~

On ants in the appartment...

Megan: My dad use to eat ants by dipping them in chocolate. 'Like mmm, crunchy.'
Adie: Ants aren't that bad except for fire ants.
Megan: ooh, spicy.
Adie: More like, ooh, POISON!!!

On metaphors, and grease...

Katie: Can you not be sexual for once.
Megan: No, if I didn't have morals, I'd be such a slut.

On comments from the other room...

Katie (in the bedroom talking to a friend on skype): Someone just texted me a photo of salad.
Emily (in the living room with Megan): I wish someone would text me a photo of salad. The next time I see a salad, I'm going to text a photo of it to you Megan.

On bad days....

Emily: Since when does poetry writing turn into a dick measuring contest?
Adie: Yeah, shouldn't it be emo swoop?

On Birthday Presents...

Katie: A Darth Vader bread imprinting toaster!
Megan: I believe that may be the greatest thing ever said in this apartment!

On needing to use words...

You should wear a sign that says 'I hate Furtive glances!'

~Emily~

On laughing out loud...

I just need to take a moment to LOL.

~Katie

On curses...

What the beads?

~Megan~

On things backwards...

Sparta is this!

On being tired...

Megan: Katie, don't arsk.
Adie: What? Are you British.

On stupid Questions...

Adie: I dislocated my shoulder last night.
Megan: Why?
Adie: I don't know, I didn't have enough pain in my life.

On happy trees...

Katie: William Shatner is 80? How can he be 80? Does that man never age? It's like Bob Ross's trees! I just don't understand.
Megan: How do you not understand Bob Ross's happy trees?
Katie: It's like three swipes of a paint brush and there's a freakin' mountain! I just don't understand and I never will.

On slow lorises...

"It's a WOMBAT RACCOON PANDA!"
-Emily

On hipsterdom and literary devices...

Katie: Hipsters ride fixie bikes ironically.

Megan: My bike rusted into a fixie bike. How's that for IRON-Y!

On deafness...

*Katie sings to Ros, and Ros signs this to Sawyer*

"You're a bad singer. I don't have to be able to hear to know that."
-Sawyer

On snobby...sophisticated drinks...

Ben: My friend told me to taste his port. I tried it. I was like hmm, yes. Then the after taste hit and I was like hmm, no.

On compatibility...

You're like the same person...with different genitalia.

~Megan~

On mishearing...

Ros: Oh you finally taped your boots!
Megan: ...what? I heard, 'finally taped your boobs...'

On cheating...

Yeah, but he's cute, and has a penis.

On time spent alone...

I was having a secret rendezvous in the library with my lover thesis statement.

~Emily~

On lunchtime table talk...

Megan: I have the immune system of a...
Adie: I feel like that metaphor hasn't been explored.
Megan: What has a good immune system?
Adie: You should google 'species with the best immune system.'
Megan: Elves!
Adie: Yes.
Megan *reading from Google* "Sharks have the best immune system able to resist disease, even Cancer."
Adie: There ya go.
Lindsay: Chuck Norris.
Adie: So your options are sharks, elves and Chuck Norris.

On made for tv movies...

Megan: Yeah, and he played Zuckerman.
Katie: You mean Zuckerberg.
Megan: Zuckerwhatever.

On relationships...

Adie: Eddie Izzard says that he's a male lesbian so that means that Megan's a female gay man.
Orion: ...What?

On fat people...

I will stab you...eventually!

~Adie~

On penis envy...

You lost me at balls.

~Megan~

On apartments...

Megan: Emily's just so popular.
Adie: Yeah, I texted Megan and was all like, I haz your Emily in our apartment.
Megan: Yeah, we were going to fight over you.
Emily: I can be everyone's Emily.
Adie: I don't think we should do the whole multiple personalities thing.
Emily: I just thought that would be fun.

On Megan's standard time...

Do you know that it's still like two and a half hours till pizza?

~Megan~

On really liking something...

It was so good that I'm going to like it on Facebook!

~Katie~

On boys being flakes...

Katie: Rusty. Grapefruit. Spoon.
Megan and Emily: Do you have one?
Katie: I have a grapefruit spoon dealer.

On quickness...

You think I didn't blog that?

~Megan~

On touching hands...

I don't like not being able to see that before it happens...

~Katie~

On Katie's skypeage...

Emoticon whore!

~Megan~

On Indiana Weather...

Megan: It's going to be high forties and fifties next week.
Adie: Oh My Goodness it's summer.

On conversations...

Megan: Everyone's a little bit of a sociopath...
Adie: ...Sometimes, but that doesn't mean we go around committing...murder
Megan: That doesn't work.
Adie: Nothing rhymes with sociopath.
Emily and Elizabeth: Math...
Megan: Doesn't mean we go around committing MATH!
Adie: It has to rhyme with the whole word.
Megan: Don't be such a...
Elizabeth: Stickler.
Adie: I was going to say Nazi.

On spying...

Megan: Why does he have two guns?
Elizabeth: He's over compensating?
Megan: He had no balls.

On firefly...

Simon! I'm psychic.

~Megan~

On absences...

You were in Scotland.

~Katie~

On misspoken words...

I feel sorry for the peach tree dish...er, I mean...oh well.

~Maddie~

On checking jean pockets...

MONEY!!!
Sometimes I just love me!

~Megan~

On police departments...

There ain't no crime in Carmel...

~Emily~

On lunchtime...

Emily: You smell good.
Adie: Thank you?
Emily: It's not like I was sniffing you.

On the bone in raccoons...

Hehe, click to enlarge.

~Megan~

On maybe clean spoons...

Katie: But it might be dirty.
Megan: KATIE! We put our toes in our mouths last night.

On Katie's Catch Phrase...

Well he can suck my Dickens!

~Katie~

On manliness...

The next time you need balls in your life...

~Katie~

On cooking...

Strange noises always come from our kitchen.

~Emily~

On Justin Bieber...

That's because it's a Child!

~Megan~

On fives...

Katie: It went, boob, boob, boob, boob, boob....
Megan and Adie: There are five boobs!
Katie: There are too many boobs in that equation.

On being cancelled...

Ellen: did you know...
Adie: Zac Efron?
Ellen: yeah.

On choosing the right career...

Katie: Megan, just get right to the point.
Megan: I can't. I'm a politician, I subvert the issue!

On Hypothetical conversations...

Katie: I got you begonias for Valentine's Day!
Megan: I got YOU begonias for Valentine's Day!
*both squee and embrace*
Katie: Who needs boys?
Megan: When you have begonias!!!

On true love...

Megan: I'm going to buy begonias.
Katie: Begonias are my favorite flower!
Megan: Mine too!
*squee and hug*
Emily: You guys are soulmates.

On late nights...

Megan: Why can't I spell...
Adie: ...your own name.

On my own quote...

Why do you need an egg cozy? Do dey get cold in de refrigerator?

~Megan~

On federal regulation...

First they'll get rid of the penny then it'll be the nickel!

~Adie~

On best gay friends...

Not my baby! My baby...

~Adie~

On the political atmostphere in egypt...

Red Rover, Red Rover, we dare the protesters over...

~Megan~

On timing...

Megan: It's 11:11, make a wish!
Katie: Ah, Crap.

On english geeks...

Katie: And he's writing a 20 page paper on Faustian literature.
Emily: That's hot.

On reversals...

Megan: So, there's a guy holding them both over a cliff and you have to choose one!
Katie: NOOOOO! Why do my hypothetical situations come back to bite me in the butt?

On choices in life...

Megan: So, which one do you like?
Katie: That's the PROBLEM!!!

On long distances crushes...

There's this cute guy that has OI. He's nine years older than me, so he'd be like MAINE boy except OREGON boy.

~Adie~

On medical advances...

Orion: Yeah, the heart keeps beating after you rip it out of a person's chest. You can even cut it up and put it on a plate and it still beats.
Emily: A Plate?
Adie: Yes, a silver platter.

On Positions...

Emily: But I can't reach my apple in this position!
Adie: Emily, I love you.
Emily: I love my apple...and you too.

On kitties in the box...

She's British! Which means the kitties are British, which means they purr with an English Accent!

~Megan~

On substitutions...

No, and I never will...Knock on...Couch.

~Ros~

On story time...

Once upon a time my friend Ryan spanked a hawk...
The End

~Katie~

On specialization...

There's a whole section of psychology for Christians, it's like Youth Group on a couch.

~Adie~

On proper usage of terms...

Megan: That's what she said?...Why do I always make those statements into questions?
Adie: Because you've never been 'she'd'.

On the evils of Starbucks...

It's not up there on the Google level yet, but it's still pretty high.

~Mike~

On amazing truths...

Ros: He gave me this article that likened getting your ears cleaned to sex.
Adie: Well, the ear is one of the 7 alternative erogenous zones...
Orion: There are seven?!?!?!

On inclusion...

Megan: Why hasn't Sawyer made the blog, he should be on the blog.
Adie: Well, he doesn't say much.

On Olympic Sports...

Ice Ball
*a game similar to, yet infinitely more perilous than baseball, played with ice chunks and an ice scraper*

On the Wrath of God...

Adie:...and she will call down the wrath of God so the car explodes.
Megan: How can she do that, she's an athiest.
Adie: she was raised Polish Catholic, He's like, "eh, ok, for old time's sake".
Megan: *skeptical look*
Adie: Hey, this is my God we're talking about, he's a cynical son-of-a-bitch.
Megan: He's not the son of anything.
Adie: Hey yeah, if he calls himself a son-of-a-bitch does that mean He's insulting Himself?

On misinterpretation...

A Homeschool pimp? Excuse me?

~Megan~

On dinojousting...

Isa: Oh look, they're jousting.
I need a blue and a red marker for good and evil.
Oh no, the good guy is supposed to be winning.
Megan: Well, the good guy always get knocked around for a while
Isa: Yeah, now we need a girl, and she's up here watching, like Men in Tights.
And the good guy hits this...ten points!
Now the bad guy is knocked out of the window and the girl and the guy kiss and go watch a movie.
But the bad guy finds a giant robot tractor! *Adie's chair*
And runs them over, killing the girl, and putting the good guy in a 35 year coma
The End.

On changes in societal standards...

She's a Kindle reading hussy.

~Emily~

On misspoken words...

There's no explaination date.

~Megan~

On manliness....

"You can't see all of his leg hair because he's wearing a dress!"

-Katie

On Star Trek...

It's called Pon Far colone, it's like Old Spice for Vulcans. The Vulcan your Vulcan could smell like!

~Maddie~

On house rules...

Megan and Katie: I whip my hair back and forth, I whip my hair back and forth, I whip my hair back and forth!

Emily: No, you don't. Not in this house.

On Pop Tart commercials...

"Look at him defying social norms by playing with birds! He's like a Francis of Asisi hipster!"

-Katie

On Currency...

Adie: There's a soul, in the table. Why is there a soul in the table?!
Isa: I would be a soul table.

On accidents...

Megan: Something bad is going to happen!

Katie: I'm going to kick Adie in the head.

Megan: It has to be with my car...

Katie: I'm going to hit Adie with your car.

Megan: You can't even drive a stick!

Katie: That's why I'm going to hit her!

On beauty pageants...

*Shows all five nominees for the Golden Globes Best Actor in a Drama*
Megan: They're all beautiful men, good job Nomination Committee.

On interruptions...

Megan: I haven't seen that movie
*Katie sticks Megan's finger in Megan's nose*
Emily: You really haven't seen Saving Private Ryan?
*Megan sticks her boogery finger in Katie's face*
Emily: I was trying to have a conversation, but it kinda fell apart.

On new time zones...

"Katie's Boobs Standard Time"

-Emily

On the playoffs...

Megan: Go. Go! GO!!!
Angelina: From in here it doesn't sound like you are watching football...
Megan: What?
Oh, I get it...well I was busy watching the ball.

On skills...

Katie: You could crochet a car cozy!

Megan: I COULD!!!

On a grey area of nothingness...

Megan day 1: OMG I LOVE SCHOOL!
Megan day 2: OMG WHEN IS THIS SEMESTER OF HELL ENDING!?!?!?.

~Mike~

On applications...

How did you get into the white house?
Legacy.

~Adie~

On despicableness...

Why are orphanages always depicted in movies as 'rent-a-kid's'?

~Adie~

On holding a rifle...

"The hole needs to be pointed at your...thing."

~Orion~

On Horse riding...

"There are plenty of things to ride at Butler..."

~Orion~